Apathy is possibly the worst feeling (or thereby lack of) to be plagued by for a prolonged period of time. Plague may sound extreme, but it really isn’t. I mean, relative to other incidences in the world, it may have nominal significance - however, for the sake of the here-and-now, all else apart from the subject’s emotional state, is to be disregarded. So many people have an ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude (or at least pretend to), and think they’re the epitome of apathetic bliss. Alas, it’s nothing more than just that - an attitude.
True apathy is not dissimilar to the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz - desperately wanting to attain a heart because feeling nothing is too robotic to handle. It’s when you know something should affect you heavily, but it does nothing to affirm that you do, in fact, have the capacity to care. When you’ve sunk into a depression so deep that you’re completely devoid of all emotion. When the soul that may have once existed seems like nothing more than a figment of your dark, meaningless imagination. The emptiness is worse than any feeling you’ve ever experienced, and you’d give almost anything to be sad, because that’s the only way you can feel human. Either that, or physical harm. It’s not that you get pleasure from injuring yourself, but the blood is a symbol of normality. Your reaction to the pain confirms that you are still human. After all, according to the general population, the capacity to feel is one of the defining characteristics that set us apart from animalistic beasts, is it not? Continue to call me an ‘emo’ if you wish, but emo is short for emotional. Something I am not.
Grant me your emotions, for Father Time is a bitch.